Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you
Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I'm waiting for you
My hands are tied
My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose
With or without you
With or without you
I can't live
With or without you
With or without you
~With or Without You- U2~
~Edward~
I’m sitting on a stone bench in Bella’s grandparent’s back yard thinking about the words my father said to me just yesterday and how defensive I was at first thinking he was full of shit. I guess he knows more than I thought when it comes to matters of the heart.
“Son, I hope you realize that this relationship isn’t going to be easy.” His tone is calm and gentle, but it still pisses me off, putting me immediately on the defensive.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I bite out harshly. My father doesn’t hesitate to bite back, but he has a way of using his tone to get my attention and calm me down at the same time.
“I’m talking about the fact that your girlfriend is young, Edward, very young. And while I believe that she loves you every bit as much as you love her, I think that she still has some growing up to do. Aside from that, she hasn’t really had the best role models when it comes to working through differences to make a relationship last, not to mention her own experience with relationships.” He looks at me pensively before continuing. “I know that you haven’t had much relationship experience, if any, yourself…but what you lack there, you gain in life experience and maturity. You are a natural caretaker, you always have been, so although you haven’t really experienced romantic love before, it is a natural transition for you to have a significant other…almost instinctual. It makes sense for you to want everything right now, but you are going to have to give her a chance to catch up. You have fifteen years on her, Son, I just want you to remember that when the impatience and the jealousy threaten to take over. Given your extreme possessiveness, conflict is inevitable.”
I guess this is exactly what he’s talking about.
This fucking sucks. I can’t fucking believe that she took that asshole’s side and dismissed me the way that she did. How could she fucking choose to talk to him before me, and just send me away like a fucking dog? She is my fucking woman for Christ’s sake! Working things out with me should be her first priority.
Taking a deep breath in effort to calm my raging temper, I scrub my hands over my face and through my hair, trying desperately to understand why she might have done that. My body vibrates with rage and jealousy when I think about the way he reached out to touch her…she did push his hand away, though, so I reluctantly think that counts for something. It is obvious that they know each other intimately, so I’m assuming that she fucking slept with him. And the fact that he was with her grandfather today leads me to believe that maybe he is a family friend? She must have known him since she was a little girl. The sigh that escapes me feels heavy and defeated and I can’t fight the melancholy that washes over me. Did she love him?…Does she love him still? I have to believe that she doesn’t because she told me that she’s never loved anyone but me.
Only me.
Arrggg! I want so desperately to believe her, but I have to admit that I have my doubts now. Why else would she totally disregard the feelings of the man she loves, but for a man she loves more. Dropping my head into my hands propping my elbows on my knees, I finally let the emotions I’ve been fighting surface. I fucking hate feeling inadequate. A fucking pussy, that’s what I am. To be honest, I don’t know which bothers me more, the fact that she dismissed me, or the fact that I obeyed her like a goddamn puppy. I’m thirty-five fucking years old! I don’t need to be told what to do by a girl nearly half my age. Fuck! Who am I kidding? I would do anything she told me to do. Fucking pussy-whipped motherfucker. What if she is inside right now reconciling with that tool? What will I do if she comes out only to tell me that she realized that she doesn’t want me anymore? I want to spend the rest of my fucking life with her, even if she were to come to me right now and tell me that she doesn’t want me anymore, I would beg and plead for her to reconsider…for her to stay with me.
I quickly snap out of my emo bullshit, discreetly wiping the few stray tears from my eyes and arrange my features into a scowl when I hear her light footsteps approach, stopping in front of the bench just to the right of me. I may officially be a pussy, but I’m not about to advertise that shit. Besides, she needs to know that I am pissed. Really fucking pissed.
“I know you are angry with me, but I’m angry with you, too.” There is a sense of authority in her words and the determination I hear in her voice assures me that she is not fucking around. Still, I let my own anger show in my features. She will not get off that easy. A part of me really wants to say mean things until she feels as used and unimportant as I do at the moment, but the other part of me realizes that this type of behavior, although momentarily satisfying and completely fucking justified in my opinion, would be counterproductive, so instead I focus on keeping my temper in check and resolve to take this opportunity to show her that I am in this for the long haul…for better or for worse and all that bullshit.
I take a deep breath and without saying a word, I turn my body slightly toward her. I have made my decision to hear her out and work through it, I don’t want to leave her, again, but you can be goddamn sure she will hear how I feel in return. When I finally look up into her eyes, my resolve falters if only for a fraction of a second. She looks absolutely livid and in that instant everything inside me that tells me that I am justified in my current ire waivers and I begin to wonder if there is more to the confrontation than I remember. Come to think of it, I was pretty lost in my own feelings of jealousy and betrayal. Now that I think back I wonder…did she really betray me? I don’t fucking know, but I’m not about to give in that easily.
I look up at her furious expression and I have to admit that she is fucking glorious with fire flashing in her eyes, her ample chest heaving with the deep breaths she is taking and her tiny fists balled up at her sides. I fight my instinct to pull her into my arms and shove my tongue…or my dick…into that sexy mouth that is currently twisted into a sneer and motion to the empty spot on the bench as I awkwardly clear my throat, hoping to hell that she doesn‘t notice the massive wood that is taken residence in my jeans. She looks annoyed at the seat I offer her, but sits down anyway, crossing her long shapely legs and flicking her shiny, dark hair over her shoulder. Christ, she is sexy.
When she finally sits down, she takes a deep breath then lays into me. I am completely caught off guard, so to say I’m shocked is an understatement.
“What the fuck was that, Edward? Were you trying to embarrass me? Because if that was your intention…then congratulations, asshole, you were completely fucking successful.” She folds her arms across her chest and looks away from me, leaving me utterly stunned by the indignation in her voice. I am just about to start defending myself when she pipes up again, “I am not a fucking possession! You don’t get to just jump in and fight my battles. I get that you might feel threatened by Mateo’s presence and the past that we have obviously shared, but you don’t just get to act on those feelings and go around threatening people whenever you want!” She is full on shouting at me by this point, and while I may see her point…I sure as fuck don’t agree with it.
“So what, I’m supposed to just sit there, keeping my opinions to myself while listening to him make sexual remarks about your mouth? Insinuations about past experiences he has had with that mouth? Do you think you could sit quietly while someone from my past talks about how much pleasure she has experienced by my tongue? Do you think you could just sit there as she runs her fingers through my hair while rehashing that shit? Or is it only ok for you to be possessive?” She opens her mouth to retort but I keep ranting, effectively silencing her. “Furthermore, you have told me on several occasions that you not only enjoy my possessiveness, but that you love it. That it turns you on, and that you love that I want every motherfucker in sight to know that you’re mine. You can’t condone that shit, encourage it even, and then get pissed off about it when it involves someone like your precious Mateo.”
I know that last statement was a bit petty and childish, but I honestly can’t find it in myself to care. She takes an exasperated breath while scrubbing her hand over her face before she turns to me and speaks, “There is a time and a place for that shit, Edward, and this isn’t it.” As much as I don’t want to, I see her point.
“I know and I’m sorry, but it felt like you were choosing him and his feelings above mine. Not only that but you didn’t even yell at him. I mean, fuck Bella, you have no problem yelling at me.” I hate that I sound like a whiny bitch but, damn, that shit isn’t kosher.
Looking up at me with regretful eyes and fidgets a little under my intense gaze but immediately begins to explain. She tells me that she grew up with Mateo, spending every summer with him since the age of six and how close they have always been. She tells me that she explored every stage of physical intimacy with him and at the age of sixteen, he became her first sexual partner, and that it has been an unspoken understanding since she was thirteen that whenever she is in Italy, they are a couple. She also explains that she hasn’t seen him in three years, so they only slept together for two summers before she met Collin…apparently Mateo didn’t know about Collin, believing that it was purely financial reasons that kept her from visiting. This is the first time they’ve see each other since the summer when she was seventeen, and she tells me that she felt so guilty when she saw him because he had no warning…she had been so caught up in us that she didn’t even think to send him a letter or an email to let him know that she would be showing up with someone special. I guess those words are meant to pacify me, too bad they don’t. I don’t give a flying fuck about this asshole, so the last thing I want to hear is how they frolicked around the vineyard and show each other their naughty parts. Fucking Christ!
“Look, I know damn well that I encourage your possessiveness. But, the last thing I want is for my grandparents to think that I’m planning to spend the rest of my life with a fucking Neanderthal! Jesus, Edward, have some fucking respect.” You have got to be fucking kidding me!
“How fucking dare you imply that I don’t respect you!” I seethe. I concede on the fact that I should control myself a little better in front of her grandparents, but for her to say that I’m disrespectful is bullshit. She quickly backpedals at my outburst.
“That’s not what I meant. It’s just hard to reconcile my past and my present, you know?”
I narrow my eyes at her while I reply sarcastically, “No, I don’t know.”
Understanding flashes in her eyes and she lets out a huge sigh. “I don’t want to fight anymore, Topolino, this…” she trails off, motioning between us, “he isn’t worth it. And you’re probably right about me letting him off too easy compared to how I came out here guns-a-blazing. That wasn’t cool. So I‘m sorry for that.” She offers me a weak smile, but all I see is red.
“Don’t fucking call me that.” The venom in my voice is startling, even to me, but fuck after hearing her call him that, I don’t ever want to be called that again. Her eyes widen in recognition before they fill with regret. I reach out to stroke her cheek because I feel like a total douche for the way I just snapped at her. “I’m sorry, baby, I just…what can I say? I’m a jealous, possessive asshole. It’s not like this is a new side of me, I don’t understand why you got so pissed about it.” Lost in thought, I focus on the way the black nail polish is chipping off of her nails as I play with her fingers. “I am sorry that I displayed that part of myself in your grandparents home, though, you’re right…there is a time and place.” I remain quiet for a moment before acknowledging the one statement that bothers me the most. I clear my throat and press on, “And…I’m sorry that I embarrassed you.” I really fucking hate that she sees me as an embarrassment. I want her to be proud to stand at my side, not be embarrassed. I really was trying to protect her, even if it was fueled by jealousy.
“You didn’t embarrass me, ciccino, not really. I honestly didn’t mean it, I was just mad. The whole situation was fucked up and I let my guilt over hurting him rule my actions. I shouldn’t have sent you away. I should have taken care of you first, and spoke to him later. That’s what you would have done for me, and you deserve nothing less than the same.”
“I love you,” I say quietly while I pull her into my lap, needing to feel that connection with her.
“I love you, too Edward. Only you.”
“Only you,” I confirm.
I am glad that we were able to get through this, I know we will be better for it. I also am grateful for my dad’s insight because, to be honest, this might have gone a whole lot differently without it. She sighs heavily against my chest and I can feel the tension rolling off of her. She is pensive as she stares out into the darkening sky.
“What is it, Bella?” Pushing the hair out of her face, I tug on her chin forcing her to meet my gaze.
Her eyes fill with tears as she whispers, “Did you know that he is married?” She barks out a humorless laugh while toying with the buttons on my shirt before continuing, “Yeah. And you know what else?” I shake my head in the negative while leaning down to nuzzle my face in her neck, enjoying her heady floral scent. “He has been with her since the fall before I slept with him.” I feel wetness along my jaw and realize that she is crying. Fucking asshole.
“I’m sorry, baby.” The words seem so insignificant but they’re all I have to offer.
“He fucking lied to me, Edward! He told me he was a virgin, too…we fumbled and learned together, or so I thought. But it was all a lie. He had already been with her. Once again I was the whore on the side. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I always the side-dish?”
She drops her head into her hands silently shaking with her sobs. I want more than anything to comfort her, but at the same time I want her to acknowledge that yes, those guys were heartless assholes, and yes they used her, but I’m here now and I’m not using her. I want to fucking marry her and have children with her and make a fucking home with her…doesn’t that count for something? I understand that she is hurt by these new revelations and that she needs to purge her feelings, but I also feel like she needs to appreciate what she has now. Focus on our future, ya know? I know in my heart that she‘s not intentionally trying to hurt me but the complete lack of regard to my devotion to her cuts pretty deep.
“Why do I not count in any of these assessments? Huh, Bella? Because the last time I checked, you were not just my main dish…but my only dish,” I seethe, making ridiculous air quotes in reference to her ridiculous metaphor. “I may not be your precious Mateo and I may not be a fucking preppy douche bag like Collin, but I happen to think I’m a pretty decent catch and I practically worship the fucking ground you walk on. I am completely devoted to you…” I trail off shaking my head in annoyance. “You could do a helluva lot worse, if you ask me.” I scoff at her shocked expression and I have to admit that I feel a little bit bad about the way I just talked to her, but damn, enough is enough.
“You are my whole fucking life, Bella. You are everything to me. I’m really sorry that he turned out to be a prick, but what does that really have to do with our future? I don’t mean to diminish your feelings, but I just don’t see why he matters so much.” I trail off and wonder if my words are too harsh. I just hate that this motherfucker is causing tension in my relationship while he gets to scamper off with his clueless bride. He shouldn’t have any power over our happiness, and it bugs the shit out of me that he does.
“You’re right. I’m not being fair to you. You shouldn’t have to sit here and watch me cry over someone else. There is no room for him in our relationship.” She sniffles lightly, and I cringe when I feel her wipe her nose on my shirt. If I wasn’t so goddamn in love with her that shit would be so fucking disgusting. She looks up at me with those beautiful brown eyes and offers me a small smile. She licks those luscious lips and speaks softly, “I want you to know that I do know how devoted you are to me, and I appreciate it very much. I have never felt so important, cherished and loved in my entire life. I couldn’t have picked a better man to share my life with. And you’re right, you are a pretty fucking awesome catch…I just wanted you to know…” she lays her head against my chest and I am complete.
“I’m sorry for being an asshole, baby. Forgive me?”
She doesn’t say the words, but I know I’m forgiven when she jams her tongue insistently down my throat, threading her tiny fingers into my hair. A loud moan escapes my lips when she turns to straddle my lap, grinding her hot little body against me. I drag my lips down to her throat and am just about to latch on when we hear Bella’s Nonni call us to dinner from the back door. I drop my forehead to her shoulder and she places a sweet kiss on the back of my head before chuckling and climbing off my lap. I stand, grudgingly, and grumble as I try to adjust the monster in my pants.
Bella leans up on her toes to whisper in my ear while gripping my cock firmly, “I’ll take care of this later.”
I groan as I push her hand away, “You are going to be the death of me, woman, I swear to fucking Christ.”
With one last smirk over her shoulder she takes off running toward the house. I pull out my phone to check the time as I follow Bella back to the house, and notice that I have two missed calls from my mother, one from Peter and one from Victoria. I make a note to call my mom and Victoria back after dinner, but decide to wait until we get to Rome to answer Peter. Asshole.
Bella is standing on the back porch when I approach. Her smile is breathtaking as she yells out teasing me, “Affrettarsi su, il ciccino, non tenermi attendendo.” (Hurry up, ciccino, don’t keep me waiting.)
“Le mie scuse il mio amore. Tale bellezza non dovrebbe mai essere tenuta l'attesa. Come posso farlo fino a lei?” (My apologies, my love. Such beauty should never be kept waiting. How can I make it up to you?) I catch her around the waist, planting a sloppy kiss to her temple when I finally reach her.
She rolls her eyes as she retorts, “You are such a cheese ball.” Her laugh dances around us as I usher her through the threshold.
Nonni is waiting for us just inside the back door. Her long, silver spattered dark hair is pulled up into an intricate chignon and I allow my eyes to drift down her petite body, taking in every detail. It amazes me that my Bella looks so much like this woman, right down to those gorgeous eyes. She must have really been something in her day. She casts me a knowing smirk when my eyes finally land back upon hers. It is absolutely fucking mortifying that I just got caught checking out Bella’s granny, but she just winks while patting my cheek, “Isabella è molto fortunato per avere un uomo così meraviglioso nella sua vita. Non duole che lei è tale fusto come bene ed il suo italiano…perfeziona!” (Isabella is very lucky to have such a wonderful man in her life. It doesn’t hurt that you are such a hunk as well, and your Italian…perfect!) I chuckle as I feel my cheeks heat with her compliment. It is a little fucking embarrassing because I can’t even remember the last time someone made me blush. Looking over at my girl’s beaming smile makes the red on my face worth it, though.
It isn’t long before she reminds us that dinner is ready and we all take our places at the table. I am completely baffled when Mateo enters the dining room with a very pregnant woman in tow. Not only does the fact that he is still here after all the drama this afternoon infuriate me, but also that he would act so heartbroken over Bella having a boyfriend when he clearly is in a relationship of his own.
After some prompting from Bella’s grandmother, Mr. Compagnoni introduces Mateo and his wife, Lenore, to me while she serves us the most delicious smelling lasagna I have ever encountered. I try my best to ignore the glares Mateo is sending my way from across the table and focus on the fact that Bella is happily telling her grandfather about how we are in the process of purchasing a house in Seattle and that I am relocating from London to be with her while she finishes her degree. After what happened this afternoon, it makes me insanely happy to hear her speak of our plans so candidly. A wide smile takes over my face because it feels so fucking good to hear her talk about our future so confidently. I sometimes forget that she is only twenty; I need to make more of an effort to slow myself down. It’s just hard because I’m ready for everything right now, I just need to learn to give her time. Not too much though; mom’s right, I don’t want my swimmers to dry up, either. I’ve gotta get a couple kids in there before I’m too damn old to enjoy them. I look over at Bella and brush a wayward curl out of her face, thinking about how beautiful our children will be. I really hope I can keep the desire to get started on them to myself for awhile because the last thing I want is for her to feel pressured to start a family with me so soon. I can give her time…I think…I hope.
Forcing my attention away from Bella, I acknowledge the asshole and his wife.
“So, is this your first child?” I ask, motioning my fork between them.
All the color drains from Mateo’s face as Lenore starts jabbering, “Oh, yes! We are so excited. We just found out that it‘s a boy, Mateo Armando Moretti III.” She is looking at him with such undeserved adoration that it makes me sick.
“Wow, congratulations. It must be an incredible feeling to bring a child into the world...I can’t wait until Bella is ready to get started on our brood.” I hear Bella’s breath hitch and Mateo snort at my statement but he continues to tuck into his meal while Bella turns to look at me with love shining in her eyes.
“I won’t make you wait long.”
Her smile is shy and sweet and I see Nonni’s eyes fill with tears at her declaration. When I scan the table, however, Mateo glares at me before rolling his eyes and looking away. This whole situation is beyond fucked up. I can feel my temper bubbling right below the surface and I have to breathe deeply before it can get carried away. Bella shoots Mateo a dirty look and as much satisfaction that I feel in her action, I hate that he ever put her in this position to begin with. I can’t deny that I’m glad that she now knows what an asshole he really is, though.
I reach over and brush my fingers over her cheek, effectively pulling her out of her wallowing. She flashes her eyes to me and I see betrayal and uncertainty swimming in their depths. As much as I want her to just forget about him, I recognize that she is going to need to hash it out with him first. A deep sigh escapes me at the realization that she is going to need to have a private conversation with him and I immediately feel bad as guilt joins the rest of the emotions marring those beautiful windows to her soul. I don’t want to ever be the reason she is unhappy, so I force an encouraging smile on my face to let her know that I wont throw a fit over the pending conversation. I can’t allow my jealousy to stand in the way of her opportunity for growth and closure. I love my girl too much for that. Plus, I now know that she will jump my ass again…and not in the good way.
We finish the rest of the meal with idle small talk. Bella’s grandfather informs me that July and August are holiday months in Italy and most of his farmhands are on sabbatical. He asks me to help him tend to the vines tomorrow, but I get the feeling it is for more than an extra set of hands.
After dinner, the women clean up while sending us men into the living room for coffee. The room is filled with tension as we sip our cappuccinos and eat chocolate-amaretti torte. The desert is fucking delicious, and I selfishly make a metal note to ask Bella if she knows this recipe. I want this shit again. I smirk at the mental image of my Bella wearing an apron and cooking Italian meals for me and our five kids, all domestic and shit. Bella’s sweet voice pulls me from my daydream as she drags her fingers through my hair and places a gentle kiss upon my lips before asking Mateo to join her outside on the patio to ‘catch up’. Bella’s grandfather looks down to his cup with a private smirk on his face. I get the feeling that he sees more than he lets on and has no doubt about the tongue lashing that man is about to receive from the spit-fiery temper of his only granddaughter.
Lenore settles herself into the overstuffed chair to my right and gleefully digs into her torte. I suppress the urge to laugh at her naiveté. This girl is so happy to be wolfing down her chocolate treat that she has absolutely no idea that her husband was unfaithful to her for at least two summers. It makes me kind of sad that this sweet girl was taken advantage that way. Although she could never hold a candle to my Bella, she really is a pretty girl. She has a glow about her and the way she caresses the large protrusion that is her belly is really quite captivating. I’m a little envious as I let my imagination run wild with images of Bella round with my child.
Mateo comes in to collect Lenore about thirty minutes later. My temper flares slightly at the trust and elation that shines in her eyes when she sees him. I know it is none of my business, but I almost want to tell her how only hours ago he was crying over my girl. Fucking bastard. Not able to stomach any more of her devotion to this asshole, I get up and receive a nod from Emilliano. That man is smart.
I find my sweet girl staring out at nothing with tears streaming down her cheeks. She looks disappointed, but not broken, which is a really fucking good thing. When I throw my arm around her shoulders she instantly turns to bury her face in my chest. Her body is relaxed and she isn’t crying anymore, so I decide to ask how it went.
“It was fine,” she says with a sigh. “I actually thought I would be more sad.” I don’t really know what to say to that so I just pull her into my arms instead of replying. “I guess I thought I cared more about him than I actually do.” I am secretly doing a victory dance in my head at her epiphany. Not only am I glad that she isn’t torn up about the situation, but I am also fucking ecstatic that he is no competition for me. At all. Suddenly, however, I feel like a fucking dickhead about the way I acted today…all day. Especially now that I know there was no reason for my insecurity.
“I really am sorry, baby. I was such an asshole today. You deserve so much more than that. I promise to try and control the caveman shit, okay? I mean, I’m still gonna be the same possessive motherfucker that I have always been…but I promise to try to tone it down when necessary.” She turns in my embrace, throwing my arms around my neck smothering every inch of my face in kisses.
“I love you so fucking much, Edward.”
I let myself get lost in her pillow soft lips and silky tongue as they slip and slide along mine. Taking my time to explore her neck and collarbones, I murmur sweet words of love and devotion. Just as I’m about to pull Bella to straddle my lap, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I groan against the soft skin of her neck while I reluctantly pull the offending object from my pocket.
I glance quickly at the caller ID as I hit the accept button to answer it.
“Hey Ma.”
My mother’s sweet voice wafts though the line as I put her on speaker and it is easy to tell how excited she is. House hunting must have gone well. “Oh, Edward! They are just beautiful! Four of them just aren’t going to work, but the other three…Oh!”
I chuckle at her exuberance before cutting off her rant, “Whoa ma! Slow down!”
She obviously doesn’t listen one bit because she continues, “I sent a video tour of each acceptable one, and let me tell you…my mind is just going wild with all of the possibilities!”
Bella giggles and I roll my eyes as mom continues to rant. Mom’s excitement is contagious because before I know it Bella has confiscated the phone and is talking animatedly with her. I sit back and just enjoy this moment and it’s significance. We will never again purchase our first home. Okay, that’s it. I’m going to leave Bella to it and go in search of my balls.
I bring my laptop out to Bella and then make my way down the well worn path to the gardens in the back yard. Sitting down on a different stone bench, I light up a cigarette and just enjoy the clear night sky. For the next half hour or so I sit and think about everything that has happened since Bella has come into my life. I know I need to wait until she lets me know she is ready for a more permanent commitment, but I am convinced, now more than ever, that I need to have a ring ready for when the time comes, and I make a mental note to call and talk to Lizzy about having one designed. I will put a ring on Bella’s finger so fucking fast it would make her head spin. By the time I finish my third cigarette, I decide to not give nicotine and tar one more stick of reason to kill me faster, and go in to see what we have to choose from.
The three houses that mom has narrowed it down to are stunning, to say the least, and after watching the videos with Bella four times, we are finally able to agree on one. We choose a beautiful lake front property in Mercer Island, Washington which will only be about a ten minute drive to Cornish. It has a wall that is entirely made of glass which displays gorgeous views of the lake. It has over nine-thousand square feet of living space, including five bedrooms, six and three quarter bathrooms, a finished basement that can easily be converted into a recording studio. The best part is that it has a very large, finished loft that takes up most of the third story and opens up to a large deck that is built upon part of the second story roof. The deck faces the water and I can clearly see this as Bella’s space to create her art. The gated property sits on three acres of land which will ensue our privacy, and it also has a large guest house which we both agree to offer to Jacob and Leah, that way they are always on the property yet they will be far enough away so Bella is still able to feel a semblance of normalcy.
We call mom right away so that she can get the paperwork started, needing to move as quickly as possible in order to have the renovations and decorating finished for Bella to move in by the eighth of September. I expect that I will hear from Jenks within a couple of days to hash out the details. The only thing that really matters to me is that Bella’s name be put on the deed. This may be something we have to correct when we arrive in Seattle, however, because obviously Jenks doesn’t have a power of attorney for her. Bella takes the phone from me so she can give my mom Seth’s phone number to set up a time to retrieve the rest of her stuff as soon as the house is ready. I smirk when I hear Bella gushing about the house as I wander over to the closet to get my guitar.
Pulling Ruby out of her case, I settle against the headboard and play softly, letting myself get completely lost in the melodies pouring from my fingertips. Bella’s sweet voice pulls me from my trance, telling me to say goodbye to my mother as she shoves the phone in my face. I make sure to thank mother, again, for her trouble and say goodbye. Going back to my idle strumming, I instruct Bella to return Victoria’s call from earlier since LA is nine hours behind us, meaning it is only three in the afternoon there.
When Bella finally gets off the phone she tells me that Victoria wants us to give an interview to People Magazine, as well as have an exclusive sit down with Barbara Walters. She feels that by going this route, we will not only expose Collin for the lying, fame-whore that he is, but that we will also have the chance to show the public that we are a united, devoted couple who is deeply in love, and that this publicity stunt he is pulling has no bearing on our happiness. Although I am skeptical of exploiting our relationship at first, I realize that I really have no choice because I have to do whatever I can to make this clusterfuck go away for my girl. She also informs me that Victoria and her assistant, Heidi, will be meeting us when we land in Rome.
Not wanting to spend any more time talking about Victoria, or about Collin, or about my mother, or about anything really, I set Ruby down beside the bed and then proceed to straddle Bella’s lap, effectively pinning her thighs beneath me. When she reaches out to touch my chest, I take advantage of the fact that she is still leaning against the headboard and grab her wrists and restrain them above her head while leaning forward and aggressively invading her hot, wet mouth. She eagerly responds, thrusting her tongue forcefully against mine while trying to pull her hands free. I move my ministrations down to the side of her throat where I suck and nip at the soft delicate skin. Her breath is hot in my ear and I feel the wetness of her tongue as she licks the outer shell. I release her hands but continue to grind against her as I let my hands roam freely over her curves. Bella’s body is sexy. Tight yet soft. Curvy yet slender. Petite yet leggy. Fucking perfection, and I don’t hesitate to tell her so.
I continue down her body kissing every inch of exposed skin, discarding her clothing as I go. Once I have her bare before me, I spread her legs wide, drinking in the sight of her before diving in to taste her sweetness. I hook my arms around her thighs, keeping my hands away from her tight heat, determined to make her orgasm from my mouth alone. My hands grip her thighs to give them something to do, otherwise I’ll be too damn tempted to touch. Alternating between flicking her clit and plunging my tongue deep inside her, I work her over until she is moaning and grinding all over my face. Her scent is so thick in the air that I feel almost drunk off of it. When she finally comes, her arousal coats my lips and I enthusiastically lap up every fucking drop.
I stand up at the foot of the bed and quickly discard my clothing while unabashedly staring at my beautiful girl. Bella is a vision, still flushed in her post-orgasmic high. Crawling up her sweaty body and placing wet kisses along the curve of her abdomen, I finally settle myself into the cradle of her thighs. Kissing her deeply, I push myself inside and I swear it feels like the first time, every goddamn time. She feels so fucking good wrapped around me and it takes every bit of self control that I can muster to refrain from pounding the fuck out of her. I know my girl likes it rough, but I want to savor her this time. I start moving slowly, pushing in as deep as possible before pulling out about half way. Driving in over and over, trying to get deeper within her each time. She lets out a breathy moan when I tilt my hips and I internally rejoice, knowing that I’ve found her sweet spot.
I start pumping faster and harder while grasping onto her thigh as she claws at my back while wrapping her legs high around my waist. She opens her mouth in a silent scream and it is so damn beautiful. I work harder and push deeper, grinding my pelvic bone into her clit with every thrust, determined to give her as much pleasure as possible. My arms are trembling with my effort, and just when I feel like I can’t possibly hold out any longer, she begins to shake and convulse around me. Holy shit, it feels amazing, and two thrusts later I groan, coming hard and spilling my seed deep within her. I don’t even have coherent thoughts beyond telling her that I love her as I drift into oblivion.
I spend the next morning working my ass off in the vineyard. I honestly didn’t realize how much preparation goes into picking wine grapes. The harvest, according to Bella’s Nonno, doesn’t start until the middle of September, but there is so much shit to do before that can happen. My respect for the old man skyrockets after the seven straight hours of hard manual labor I do this morning.
While I let the hot water soothe my tired muscles, I wonder how Bella’s morning and afternoon went with her Nonni, considering I left her while she was still sound asleep. I let my thoughts drift to the time I spent with Bella’s grandfather, Emilliano, as he demanded that I call him. He spoke at great length to me about women and how to keep them happy. He even let me vent about how confusing Bella can be with the whole be possessive…don’t be possessive…well, only be possessive when I say it’s okay, but I won’t tell you ahead of time when it is acceptable while withholding all comments and judgment, which I really fucking appreciated. He assured me that he understood where I was coming from and that Bella can be difficult, spoiled and bratty at times, and that he still, to this day, has the same damn issue with his wife. The longer I spend with Bella’s grandparents, the more I see the similarities between her and Nonni, not only physically, but in their temperaments and expectations, as well.
Emilliano also told me that he has never seen Bella so happy and that both he and her grandmother could tell just how much we love each other. By the end of our conversation, I wasn’t surprised at all when he asked me point blank what my intentions were with her. I didn’t hesitate at all to inform about what I wanted and that I am ready for it all, but that I fear that she isn‘t…yet. He clapped me on the back and told me to be patient, that the right time will present itself when I least expect it, and of course, he gave me his blessing. I have to say that as fucking tired as I am, I wouldn’t have traded that experience for anything. I swear to Christ, our first born will be named after that old man.
I notice her reflection sitting on the bed as I pull a clean t-shirt over my head. She is sitting cross-legged wearing an ugly yellow tank top, blue shorts, tube socks and her glasses. It baffles my mind how she can still look like sin in such a hideous outfit. I chuckle at my inner thoughts and stalk over to the bed to place a wet, sucky kiss on those full, pouty lips. I just shake my head before biting her bottom lip sharply and smacking her ass when she raises her eyebrow in question.
After Bella changes into a tight green tank with black sequin designs, a pair of jeans that I swear cost more than this house, and black, peep toe pumps, we pack the rest of our shit and get ready to leave her grandparents’ home. And yes, I know what peep toe pumps are. Fuck you.
Before we say our goodbye’s and leave for the airport, I make sure to get those recipes so Bella can make them for me because I’m useless in the kitchen. This opportunity to experience Bella around her grandparents was fantastic. It was nice to see her interact with people she loves and it gave me some insight to her nurturing disposition. It just leads me to wonder how the hell Renee turned out like she did. I feel like we have grown more as a couple in the last two days than we have in the last two months; this time away from everyone was definitely worth the added stress it put on the band. Speaking of which, I haven’t spoken a fucking word to either one of my boys since our blow out. I huff at the thought, yeah, I’m still pissed.
The paparazzi have evidently been informed of our location and gather ’round to watch our exciting venture into the airport. Bella puts on a smile and doesn’t hide her face in my chest, rather, she struts her stuff. Now, my girl has been known to be a bit sassy, but this, in her skin tight jeans and high heels, it’s too much for me. She looks like a rock star’s girlfriend, the right amount of confidence and sexiness without looking like an arrogant attention whore. I can’t fucking wait to see this picture on some magazine cover tomorrow.
After we finally board, we work to make ourselves comfortable. Bella pulls out both of our iPod’s and two neck pillows from her giant bag that she calls a purse. I’m surprised they didn’t make her check it as luggage. She also pulls out a bottle of hand sanitizer that she makes me use before I even think about touching something that I will put in my mouth. Who knew my woman was a germ-a-phobe?
During our take-off, she slips her heels off of her tiny feet and pulls a pair of long socks from her ‘purse’. I gaze at them incredulously as she proceeds to roll them onto her feet and over her jeans.
“What? I had to put them over my jeans, the legs are too tight to push up far enough to pull the socks on all the way,” she scoffs, like that’s the one thing I have a problem with.
“Baby, why the fuck are there socks in your purse?” I ask, because, come on, she has socks in her purse…
“My feet get cold…”she says, while looking at me like I’m the one that’s lost my mind.
“So you put socks in your purse? What else do you have in there, grandma?”
“Everything you’d ever need. You’re lucky you have me around. Who else would be able to give you Tylenol, a pillow, music, candy, granola bars, your cell phone charger, your laptop charger… socks… envelopes… deodorant… soup…” her voice gets softer towards the last of her items, making me think she realizes how crazy she sounds.
“It’s okay, baby,” I whisper as I kiss the side of her head, “everybody needs someone to take care of them. Thank you for thinking of everything I’d need.”
Her answering smile is radiant and full of relief as she adds shyly, “You know, I would have my knitting needles and a ball of yarn too, cuz I’m making you a hat,” she sticks her bottom lip out in an adorable pout as she continues her thought, “but they won’t let me through security with them.”
What. The. Fuck?
She smiles sweetly as she adds, “I hope you like blue…”
So sure, my boys and I are on the outs, my girl is kind of nuts in the best fucking way, my publicist has gone off the deep-end, we’re moving into our new house, and I’ll have to leave Bella while she’s in school and I make music…but I have her, and she’s all I’ll ever need.
I swear to fucking Christ I’ll find my balls in Rome…
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