I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We've got to move you darling
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all
~Here Is Gone- Goo Goo Dolls~
~Bella~
The weight of everyone’s stares is crushing and I clutch desperately to Edward while silently thanking God that I have already told him everything there is to know about my past with Collin. Disbelief courses through me as my mind slowly begins to register what is happening around me. Collin spent two and a half years making excuses about why he couldn’t commit to me and spouting off all kinds of bullshit about social status and proper breeding, and now he has the nerve to call me his girlfriend, on national television? Just what does he think he is going to get out of all this? That thought alone infuriates me because it reminds me that he is, once again, using me.
Looking up into Edward’s deep green eyes, eyes that are filled with murderous rage, I realize just how much damage this could do to his career…not to mention his reputation. A mix of guilt and trepidation washes over me and I can’t help the fresh round of sobs that bursts from my chest. Edward’s expression softens and he reaches up to brush away the tears that are streaming down my cheeks with his thumbs, as he tenderly cups my face. “Don’t cry, baby, we’ll handle this together.” His voice is soft yet firm, and it doesn’t escape my notice that he is making sure that I am okay and calmed down before he bothers to address the rest of the room, who‘s gazes are currently burning holes into the back of our heads. There is no possible way for me to love this man more than I do in this moment. He is putting everyone and everything else aside to focus solely on me and my feelings. He always puts my feelings first.
Anchoring myself in the depths of his eyes, I focus on breathing slowly until I feel my heartbeat slow and the panic start to subside. Sagging against his body and fisting my hands tightly in his shirt, I am finally able to relax. The weight of his hand as it moves slowly up and down my back is reassuring and I allow myself this moment to just be close to him while taking the opportunity to drown in his warm masculine scent. I feel him press a kiss to my hair before he addresses the room again, “How can we get a copy of that interview? I need to know exactly what he said.” His voice holds a no nonsense tone that anyone would be crazy to question.
Jasper speaks up first and I have to admit that his tone has an accusatory edge that startles me, “Well, it seems that this Collin guy believes that you are gallivanting about with his girlfriend…and by the reaction of this one,” he adds while nodding his head slightly in my direction, “I’d have to say there is some vestige of truth to that, is there not?” My eyes widen in horror at the thought that they automatically believed him. I mean, fuck, what kind of person do they think I am? I am just about to jump in and defend myself when Edward beats me to it.
“You better watch your fucking mouth, Jasper. I love you like a brother, man, but I wont hesitate you lay your punk ass out.” There is a definite sharpness to his tone that suggests that he is not messing around and Jasper quickly holds his hands up in surrender effectively backing down from the potential argument. I reach out to place my palm against the side of Edward’s face when a slight movement in my periphery catches my attention. I snap my head in the direction of the motion only to find a self-satisfied Rosalie and Tanya whispering amongst themselves.
“Just what are you two looking so smug about, huh?” I shout, finally letting all of the repressed anger I have at Collin manifest itself in my rant to these bitches. Rosalie remains quiet, but Tanya smirks before answering boldly, “I knew it was only a matter of time before you showed your true colors…You‘ll never be good enough for him.”
“You don’t know a fucking thing about me or this situation, so why don’t you just shut the fuck up.” I am seething by this point only minutely calmed when Lizzy gets up and pulls me into a tight embrace.
“It gonna be fine, Bella, you’ll see,” she coos in my ear, trying to bring my temper down to reasonable levels.
Over her shoulder I can see Edward, Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle in a heated argument and I strain my ears to hear what they are saying. I know that I shouldn’t eavesdrop, but I hate that they are obviously fighting about me. The last thing I want to do is drive a wedge between Edward and the people who matter most in his life. My efforts are fruitless, though, because I can’t decipher a damn thing they are saying. Finally, Esme sticks her fingers in her mouth letting out a loud whistle, effectively capturing everyone‘s attention.
“Why don’t we sort out the details of what we are dealing with so that we can start working on a solution, hmmm?” Her voice is soft, but full of authority, and before I know it we are all headed for the long dining room table, about to air out all of my dirty laundry, which admittedly makes me extremely uncomfortable. We all take our seats and Esme remains standing, waiting until everyone quiets down before she begins talking.
“Now, Tanya, this matter has absolutely nothing to do with you so I suggest you find something to entertain yourself with for the time being.” Esme flicks her hand toward the door, promptly dismissing her without a second glance, while simultaneously sending me an inconspicuous wink. “Now, Edward…Bella, this seems to be a private matter that may be best dealt with by family alone, but I’m leaving that decision up to you. Do you want the rest of the band to sit in on this discussion, or do you want to dismiss them, as well?”
I have to admit that I am impressed and a little bit intimidated by the air of authority surrounding Esme, thank goodness she is on my side. Looking over at Edward, I squeeze his hand under the table because I’m not really sure what we should do and I want him to understand that I trust his judgment. Edward clears his throat awkwardly before he speaks, “I want them to stay for the time being…some pretty shitty things were said and I think we need to clear the air before we even begin to discuss what we want to do about the rest of the situation, if that is okay with you, baby.” He looks over at me as he speaks the last part and all I can do is nod my assent.
“Fine.” Esme says as she settles herself into the chair next to Carlisle who is looking at Emmett like he is ready to spit nails. I shoot a questioning look at Edward who brings my hand up to his mouth to place a kiss in my palm before turning his glare on Emmett.
“How fucking dare you say that this is Bella’s problem and that she should have to deal with this shit on her own. Not only have I put up with Rosalie’s continuous and certainly unwanted advances for over a fucking decade, but I have supported you through all of the bullshit that has plagued us by the mere association with that tramp. The initial media frenzy that surrounded us when you married a fucking stripper, when her multiple sleazy sex-tapes came out…with other men, mind you…and your near bankruptcy due to her $10,000 a day coke habit, not to mention the five stints in rehab. I can’t fucking believe you!” Edward is standing in front of his chair leaning toward Emmett and shouting by the time he finishes ticking off each infraction on his fingers. I reach up to grip onto the hem of his tee shirt, trying fruitlessly to garner his attention. I don’t want to be the cause of any further rift in the band, so I cut in, “Edward…”
He hold his finger up, successfully silencing me and I sit back in my chair feeling really uneasy with the way the conversation is going. Ignoring my attempt to calm things down, he turns his accusations on Jasper, slamming his open palm down on the table.
“And you…how could you? How could you imply that there is any truth to what that bastard is saying? I thought we were like brothers, Jasper? Who stood behind you when all that shit came out about Alice’s time in the mental institution, huh? Who constantly fought with the media, desperate to do anything that would help to focus their attention on me and off your girl? Answer me motherfucker!” My heart is literally pounding in my chest. I have never seen Edward this angry, and by the things coming out of his mouth, I can clearly see his justification. He feels betrayed by the few people he trusts in this world, people he has apparently gone to great lengths to protect.
Jasper’s eyes are as big as saucers but he remains quiet, tenderly stroking Alice’s hair as she cries quietly beside him. I stand quickly, wedging myself between the table and Edward while placing my hands on either side of his face. Whispering sweet words of affection and devotion, I gently push until he is seated in the chair with his head cradled against my chest. The level of commitment and loyalty Edward has given to his band mates and their significant others throughout the years is astonishing and it really pisses me off that they didn’t automatically reciprocate that loyalty, regardless of how they feel about me or our relationship. It seems to me that they clearly take him for granted. Yes, he is a hard-ass, and yes he is difficult to get along with at times, but he is also generous and funny and honest and loyal, not to mention disgustingly talented, and they would be nothing without him. He is Eclipse, and they would be smart to remember it. That is a discussion for another time, but there is something I need to say to them now before I focus on the pain that this situation and the people who should love him have caused for Edward.
I try to calm myself down enough to speak and stroke Edward’s hair to comfort us both. I finally look up into the eyes of the people Edward has stuck his neck out for and whisper, “You should be ashamed of yourselves. I now realize our shitstorm is much smaller than any of yours. We will handle it on our own, just like Edward has apparently done everything else. I have many things to say to you, none of which are beneficial at the moment. I suggest you learn to deal with your own problems from now on. You may leave now.”
I look into all of there eyes as they sit there, motionless. They all looked shocked and maybe a little remorseful, even Rosalie, if it’s possible. None of them make move to leave, but it doesn’t matter because right now the only thing I want to do is crawl into my man’s lap and love him, comfort him, reassure him that he is no longer alone and that he never will be again, so I do…and once I am settled astride his thighs, I lift his face, forcing him to look into my eyes and reiterate that fact. “I’m here, ciccino, you aren’t alone anymore. I’m here for you, I’ll always be here for you. And you don’t have to bear the brunt of everyone else’s burdens anymore, it’s not your duty. Let them take responsibility for their own decisions and we will take responsibility for ours. I don’t expect them to all jump in and help to clean up my messes. I only expect that you shoulder it with me.”
He gazes into my eyes for what feels like forever before he finally sighs while, nodding his head in acceptance and understanding. Winding his arms around my body, he crushes me to his chest nuzzling my neck before whispering that he loves me in my ear.
When he finally relaxes his hold on me, he curtly dismisses everyone who are still stuck in their spot, except the family, leaving Carlisle, Esme, Lizzy, and Alec since Seth and Sam left early this morning. Once everyone filters out, Carlisle starts speaking,
“I’m glad you got that shit off of your chest, Edward, it’s about time that they are called out on how they have always taken advantage of you and the selfless way you have always turned unflattering events onto yourself in order to protect everyone else.” Carlisle’s eyes are soft as he speaks, but they leave no room for argument as he continues, “You need to stop with the fucking martyr routine, though, as you have your own woman to look out for, now, and as you can see,” he pauses as he waives his hand around the nearly empty room, “you can’t count on anyone but yourself and your family to help you do so. And all too soon, hopefully, you are going to have children to add to the mix. I’m not trying to cause problems with your band mates, son, I just don’t want to ever see you this disappointed again.”
Edward remains quiet for several minutes before nodding slowly. Flashing his green eyes up to meet his dad’s he finally answers, “I understand where you’re coming from…thanks. And I’m sorry I lost it like that, but fuck, dad, they just…they hurt me. I don’t think they understand the depth of our feelings, or rather, they don’t want to acknowledge them. They think it’s all fun and games and that she will ditch me as soon as this part of the tour is finished and that I will return to the Edward that they knew before. But even if that were the case, why would they want that for me?”
The vulnerability and disappointment is evident in his expression and it is absolutely heartbreaking. Carlisle is pensive for a moment before he answers, “Because as much as the media has always made you out to be the immature one of the group, the truth is that you are the one who always takes care of everyone else, and now that you are not available to do that…well…they are going to have to learn how to take care of themselves. My guess, by the way things went down today, is that they are not very happy about that fact.”
Finally giving up my perch on Edward’s lap, I slide into the seat I was occupying before, figuring that it might be more appropriate to discuss the matters at hand from a separate chair. Not wanting to be any farther from him than absolutely necessary, however, I manage to nudge the chair as close to his as possible while leaning against the side of his body with my head resting against his shoulder. Winding my arms around his bicep, I slide one of my hands inside the arm of his tee shirt as I lightly scratch his skin with my blunt fingernails. He reaches out, sliding his hand along my thigh until he finally curls his fingers around my knee while roughly tugging at his hair with the other hand.
“Why don’t we start from the beginning, that way we know what we are potentially dealing with,” Carlisle suggests while turning his gaze toward me. His expression is soft and his eyes are comforting which makes it much easier to rehash the biggest regret of my short life. I am crying for the third time today by the time I finish my story, but it brings me immense comfort that no one blames me for my poor judgment. As a matter of fact, everyone seems to be upset at Collin for the way he used me and livid with the way he treated me. I try to argue by saying that I’m the one who kept going back, but they all brush off my attempts at taking the blame upon myself by agreeing that I made a poor choice but that no one deserves to be treated so callously, regardless of the circumstances.
I feel elated that I have the support of Edward’s family and I know with all of my heart that they will be there to support us through whatever Collin decides to throw at us, but that elation is shadowed by the guilt I feel when I realize that because of me, of course, he no longer has Gianna to help navigate this shit storm for us.
Fucking great.
After a phone call to the family attorney, Carlisle announces that we now have a publicist, or rather, I have a publicist that is willing to bend over backwards to straighten this whole ordeal out. He hands me a piece of paper with a name and phone number, instructing me to call her immediately to give her any and all of the information she might need to help her handle this situation.
Victoria James answers her phone on the second ring announcing that she has been waiting for my call. She is kind and sympathetic to me as I relay, for the third time, the embarrassing story of my past relationship with Collin Brady. By the time I finish my story, including names of the girls he publicly dated while we were together, addresses of parties he attended with those other girls, as well as any and all contacts and acquaintances I could recall, she announces that she has more than enough to get started. She lets me know that she will be in constant contact with me until she has something solid to strike back with, and after expressing how grateful I am that she is willing to help me out, we say goodbye.
My phone feels like a dead weight in my hand, but I manage to look up at the amazing people that are now in my life and thank them for all of their help and support. Esme gathers me into her arms, reassuring me that this is what family is for as she places kisses in my hair. I catch Carlisle’s eye from across the table and he sends me a wink, letting me know that no thanks are necessary.
I’m not naïve enough to believe that it will be easy to make Collin go away, but I now feel better equipped to handle him, and looking at Edward, I know I have a reason to fight. Collin is a mean, vindictive asshole who would gain pleasure out of tarnishing my reputation. I’m sure his main goal is to destroy my relationship with Edward, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this amazing man will stand behind me every step of the way.
By the time we finish our conversation it is two-thirty and I am starving. Edward is, too, because he stands up rubbing his stomach and announcing that he is, and I quote, ‘fucking famished’.
Esme is up and fluttering around the kitchen in an instant, fixing sandwiches for us, which we take outside to eat on the patio. “Your family is so wonderful. It was really nice to be able to share that kind of private information and not feel like I was being judged.” He reaches over to brush the hair out of my face while offering a small smile. “They love you, there is no reason to judge. Everyone has a past, Bella. I just hate that yours is doing this to you…it’s not surprising, though, considering the kind of person he is. Heaven forbid he doesn’t use you to get his fifteen minutes of fame.”
We are just finishing up our lunch when Alice makes her way out onto the patio looking timid and unsure of herself. I offer her a warm smile and waive her over, hoping to dispel the unease that is currently dulling her normally bright, exuberant personality. Her expression lightens some as she makes her way over to us, sitting down in one of the empty chairs. She places several magazines on the table along with some articles that she has printed out from the internet. “I thought these might help…” she trails off, uncertainty clouding her features once more.
“Thank you, that was very thoughtful of you.” I reach out and place my hand over hers wanting her to realize that I don’t hold anything the guys said against her. She looks up at me with stormy grey eyes and I can see so much sadness reflected back at me. “I’m sorry for what Jazz said,” she offers in a small voice. “I can’t believe he would say something like that. He knows how the media will take and twist stories. I just…I’m so embarrassed, and I want you to know that I don’t feel the same way.” Hugging her tightly to me, I let her know that I believe her and that I never thought she would think that of me to at all. Edward also accepts her apology, stating that she has nothing to apologize for, and then offers her an apology in return for bringing up her past without her permission, to which she dismisses, assuring him that she would have told me the story eventually and that he just gave her an opening to do so.
The rest of the afternoon passes quickly as we gather the final things we have laying around the house, and before I know it, we are saying our goodbyes. I thank Edward’s family again for their love and acceptance, and Esme once again tells me to get used to it. She also lets us know that she has contacted her real estate agent and that they have set up an appointment to look at the houses on our list for Wednesday morning. She will call us as soon as she has seen all of the properties on our list to let us know what she thinks of them. Carlisle wraps me in a tight embrace, discreetly muttering in my ear that he will keep her under control which makes me laugh, earning a scowl from Edward. “I swear to fucking Christ dad, stop hitting on my girlfriend.” Carlisle just shoots him a smirk worthy of Edward’s cockiness and slaps him on the back as he pulls him into a “man” hug while whispering something in his ear. Edward nods while looking down at the ground then thanks him before waiving at them as they climb into their waiting car.
We quickly say goodbye to Lizzy and Alec, and Lizzy promises that she will come out to Seattle to spend some time with me once Edward leaves to start the US leg of the tour. The thought of getting to spend more time with her makes me incredibly happy considering that, besides Alice, I really don’t have any female friends. As we drive away, I think about how much they already mean to me and how much I will miss them over the next few weeks.
It doesn’t escape my notice that Edward doesn’t speak to his band mates before they leave for the airport.
Edward took it upon himself to book our travel so that we fly into the town of Ancona, which is a ninety minute drive from Le Marche (the region in Italy in which my grandparents live), while the rest of the band flies straight into Rome, since we only have two days to visit before the show. He is so damn thoughtful, and I can’t even articulate how thankful I am that he arranged our travel this way, because it means that I will get to spend an extra day with my grandparents.
I called Nonni yesterday to remind her that I would be coming in late tonight and that I would be bringing a very important guest with me. She was thrilled when I told her about Edward and assured me that she would leave the key in the flowerpot and that she would make sure my room was ready for us.
The three hour flight flies by and, at last, the car is making its way down the long winding driveway to my grandparents home. Edward unloads our bags and follows me up the porch steps and eventually inside. I lead him quietly through the house until we finally reach the bedroom I have occupied nearly every summer since I was six. He gently places our bags inside the closet and then toes off his shoes and socks while simultaneously pulling the tee shirt he is wearing over his head. I can see the red waistband of his boxer-briefs poking out with how low his well worn jeans are resting on his hips. He shoots me a sexy smirk when he catches me staring at his half naked form as he saunters over, looking at me like he wants to devour me.
A shiver of anticipation shoots up my spine and a gush of arousal seeps out from between my thighs, completely soaking my panties as I quickly slip out of the sandals I’m wearing, keeping my eyes locked on his the entire time. I rub my thighs together, trying to gain some friction as he finally gets close enough to reach out for the back of my head. Threading his long, calloused fingers into my hair, he roughly pulls my face to his while aggressively invading my mouth with his tongue. He explores my mouth insistently, tasting and sucking at my lips while gripping the back of my thigh with his free hand and hooking my leg around his hip so he can grind himself into my throbbing clit.
“I need you,” he breathes into my mouth before nipping at my bottom lip. His voice sounds so desperate and it only spurs on my body’s reaction. “Yes,” I moan, snaking my hands into his hair and pushing his face into my neck. “Mark me,” I groan as he begins to suck at the delicate skin, absolutely thrilled that there will be a fresh, dark mark from him the next time I look in the mirror. His hands tighten their hold on me as he sinks his teeth into the delicate flesh of my throat. I let my head fall to the side to give him more room while I reach in between our bodies to unbutton his jeans.
Sliding the denim over his hips, I drop to my knees, wanting nothing more than to take him deep down my throat. I take a moment to admire the skull and roses that adorn the fabric covering his massive cock, nipping at the thin cotton before reaching up to hook my fingers into the waistband of his underwear and dragging them down his muscular legs. Pushing lightly on his thighs, I guide him to sit on the end of the bed, keeping my eyes trained on his erection standing tall and begging for attention. I can’t help the giggle that escapes my lips as I take in the sight of his piercings and the trouble they caused in the airport earlier today, resulting in Edward being taken behind the curtain to be searched when the wand indicated that he had metal beyond his zipper in his pants.
A sharp tug on my hair pulls me from my memory and I slide my open palms up his thighs as I lean in to lick up the underside of his shaft, feeling the texture of the steel balls under the sensitive flesh of my tongue. Edward reaches down to pull the tank top I’m wearing over my head and then unclasps and discards my bra as I take the head of his cock inside my mouth, sucking lightly. “Uhh, fuck, baby. Take off the rest,” he rasps out between moans. I swallow him deep down my throat for a moment before releasing him with a pop so I can discard my jeans and panties, promptly dropping back down to my knees and taking his whole length into my throat again. He hisses at the suddenness of my movement, but quickly gives himself over to the sensation while tangling his hands into my hair. Releasing him again, I continue to stroke him with one hand while sucking each of his balls into my mouth and twirling my tongue around the sensitive area right behind his sac. He is grunting and groaning when suddenly he yanks on my hair while reaching down with his free hand to grab me by my ass. He pulls me up onto his lap like I weigh next to nothing, and I have to admit that it makes me feel fragile and feminine at the same time. I know it is cliché, but it is insanely sexy to have a man that is big and strong enough to toss you around a bit.
Before I realize what is happening, his tongue is in my mouth and he is pulling me down onto his rock-hard cock. I gasp at the feeling of him filling me completely and immediately wrap my arms around his neck, threading my fingers into his messy hair as I eagerly respond to his kiss. He pushes his hips up as I roll mine, creating the most wonderful sensations and I can do nothing but moan wildly. His arm tightens around my waist and he starts to pull me down harder and harder, driving impossibly deeper with each thrust.
“Yes…yesss…come on, Bella, I need you to fucking come. You feel so good, too good. I can’t hold on any longer. Please sweet girl, please fucking let go for me.” His voice is sweet, and loving yet rough and sexy at the same time. The contradiction in it does amazing things to my body and I can feel that I am right on that edge, I just need a little more. As if he can read my mind, he begins to roll his hips in the opposite direction of me at the top of each of his hard thrusts, and by the third time he does it, I am so over stimulated that I begin to convulse as I fall apart in his arms. Everything is swirling and spinning and flashing and I can only vaguely hear the strange keening sound that escapes my lips as this incredibly intense orgasm claims my body. Edward lays back and he continues to rock my hips hard and fast over his until he finally tenses while letting out a sound somewhere between a grunt and a groan with his release. I watch intently as his face twists in ecstasy and marvel at how beautiful he is. The light sheen of sweat covering his body along with the beads of sweat on his forehead glisten in the moonlight and when he finally opens his eyes to look up at me, a slow lazy smile spreads across his face. “I love you,” he states as he reaches up to push the hair away from my sweaty forehead. He looks godlike, angelic even and I am powerless to do anything at the moment but stare.
He pulls me down onto his chest pressing his lips to my temple while he wraps me protectively in his arms, and when I finally find my voice I return the sentiment, “I love you.” I hear his hum of contentment as I fall asleep on his chest, with his flaccid cock still inside me.
The next morning I wake early and seek out my Nonni, leaving a soundly sleeping Edward in my bed. I find her in the kitchen making fresh cornetto, a sweet Italian pastry much like a croissant, and brewing espresso for cappuccino.
“Nonni,” I breathe into her neck as I throw my arms around her shoulders, allowing her sweet, comforting scent to fill my nostrils.
“Oh, my angel. It is wonderful to see you.” She takes a step back to really look at me, “My how you have grown up since the last time you were here sweetheart, you are a woman now.” Taking my face in her weathered hands she places kisses on each of my cheeks. “Where is this young man of yours?” she asks as she looks behind my shoulder.
“Still asleep, Nonni, he should be up soon.” I smile sweetly as I add, “I can’t wait for you to meet him.” I look around the large kitchen not seeing my grandfather anywhere, which is odd. “Where is Nonno?”
She turns her attention back to the cornetto as she answers with a flick of her wrist, “Tending to the vines with Mateo.”
A slight sense of unease creeps into my mind at the mention of Mateo, but before I get a chance to dwell on it I feel Edward step up behind me, placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head as he settles his hand on the small of my back. I let the smell of his soap envelope me as I shamelessly drink in the sight of him fresh from the shower.
“Morning, baby,” he says with a smirk while lightly brushing my cheek with the back of his knuckles. “Morning,” I reply in a daze. The effect this man has on me with just the slightest touch is truly amazing. Snapping out of my Edward induced haze, I proceed to introduce Edward to the most important woman in my life. “Edward this is my grandmother, Isabella Compagnoni. Nonni, this is my anima gemella (soul mate), Edward Cullen.”
Edward reaches out for her hand placing a gentle kiss to the back of it, “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs. Compagnoni, Bella has told me so much about you.”
“The pleasure is mine, sweet boy, you make my Bella very happy. Continue to do so, and you will always have a place in my heart.” Nonni, then grabs Edwards head placing kisses on each of his cheeks before brushing her hand through his hair. The sight makes me a little emotional and teary eyed, so I offer Edward one of the fresh baked cornetto in hopes of breaking some of the tension.
Conversation flows easily with Nonni and Edward and I have to admit that the fact Nonni speaks flawless English offers me some much needed comfort about the situation while still allowing me to enjoy the familiarity of her heavy accent. We move to the living room and Edward proceeds to tell my grandmother about his career in music, how he usually lives in London and about how we are buying a house in Seattle so that I can finish school. He tells her about his childhood in Chicago and how he earned his Doctor of Music degree at Oxford with the intention of teaching music composition at the university level when the hype surrounding the band died down. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, that has yet to happen. He also goes on to tell her how he would like to fund a program for underprivileged children that would provide them the gift of free music education, but that he doesn’t want to start that until he can be heavily involved not only in the organization and operation of the foundation, but in the teaching as well. I know all of this already, of course, but it doesn’t seem to curb the overwhelming amount of pride that surges through me when I hear him discuss those plans. He is such a generous and loving man and I am lucky to have him in my life.
It is nearing lunchtime when Edward briefly excuses himself to use the restroom, and Nonni doesn’t waste a second when she pulls me into her arms overjoyed by the fact that not only have I fallen in love but that the man I have given my heart to is everything she hoped he would be, except for all the mess he has ‘painted on his body‘. Her thoughts on his ‘excessive’ tattoos is funny to me especially when she goes on to wonder why anyone would want to cover up such beauty following up with the declaration of him being a ‘hunk’. “He reminds me so much of my Emilliano…” she states with a wistful look in her eye.
Edward clears his throat behind us and the smirk on his face makes it obvious that he has heard everything she said. Nonni jumps up and scurries to the kitchen casually calling over her shoulder that she needs to get started on lunch for the men but the telltale blush on her cheeks betrays her embarrassment. Edward snickers as he takes his place next to me on the sofa leaning back, stretching his long muscular arms along the back of the couch and propping his foot over his knee while threading his fingers into the hair at the back of my neck. He pulls me in for a quick but passionate kiss as he teases me a bit about falling in love with a hunk while wiggling his eyebrows in a ridiculous Emmett fashion, making me laugh while playfully shoving him away.
Nonno comes in a few minutes later and I pull Edward to the center of the room to greet him. After brief yet polite introductions, he excuses himself to wash up for the afternoon meal. Nonno is not a man of many words and I am deeply touched by the fact that he uses his best broken English when he addresses Edward. He doesn’t give Edward much of a chance to respond, however, before he dashes off to the washroom. Edward turns and winds his arms around me, placing a sweet, loving kiss on my lips before he starts to tell me something. I never get a chance to hear what it is though because the next thing I know, I hear a gasp from the doorway and the sight before me breaks my heart. Mateo is standing just inside the doorway with a look that can only be described as a mix of shock, horror and anguish etched across his strong Italian features. Edward tightens his grip on me, but I gently twist out of his grasp while I attempt to diffuse the situation by offering introductions, and I don’t need to be wrapped around my boyfriend to do it.
“Edward, this is Mateo. Mateo, questo è Edward.” Even though I am standing a little bit in front of him and cannot see his expression, I fidget a little because I can clearly feel the tension radiating off of Edward’s body. I instantly feel bad that I didn’t introduce him as my boyfriend but I don’t want to hurt Mateo’s feelings any more than I obviously already have, besides, it’s not like isn‘t obvious anyway.
I have known Mateo since I was six years old. I spent every summer playing and exploring Le Marche with him, and as we grew up, discovering sex with him, as well. He was my first kiss, my first touch, my first everything…he took my virginity and I took his. It has always been an unspoken understanding between us that whenever I am in Italy, I am his. So to show up now, with Edward, is a huge slap in the face to him and I can’t help the immense guilt that washes over me.
I am pulled back to the present when Mateo lets out a strangled cry as he collapses on the couch with his face buried in his hands. Wanting more than anything to erase the pain he is feeling at the moment I rush over to him wrapping my arms around his head. The guilt I feel at the moment is immense, but the only thing I can do at this point is offer him the only comfort I can. The anguish in his voice is disarming. “Per favore non di dire esserla è mosso sul mio bell'angelo, per favore dirmi non è il suo ragazzo.” (Please don't tell be you have moved on my beautiful angel, please tell me he is not your boyfriend.)
The next thing I know, I am kneeling before him and brushing my hands through his dark hair while cooing sweet words of comfort. When he tries to pull me into his lap, however, I gently push him away, “Sì, il topolino, è il mio ragazzo. Sono così spiacente.” (Yes, topolino, he is my boyfriend. I‘m so sorry.) I hate that I didn’t give him any warning, but it doesn’t change the circumstances.
I hear Edward huff loudly behind me and I turn to glare at him. “Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?” Edward seethes gesturing to Mateo. He looks absolutely livid, and for the life of me I can’t figure out why. “Edward, can you leave us alone for a moment?” I ask, leaving no room for argument. “Oh…that’s fucking golden, Bella. Why don’t you tell your friend there to stop fucking glaring at me, and to wipe that smug fucking smirk off his goddamn face. I swear to fucking Christ, I won’t hesitate to do it for him.”
Not wanting the tension to escalate any further, I turn back to Mateo pleading, “Per favore, Mateo, non l'oppone. Lei farà solo delle cose peggiori.” (Please, Mateo, don’t antagonize him. You will only make things worse.) I know Edward’s temper all too well and I certainly don’t want it to be on full display here in front of my grandparents.
Mateo chuckles darkly before sneering, “Oh, Bella, dunque ubbidiente. Non ho mai pensato vedrei il giorno che lei lascia un uomo dice lei ciò che fare. Devo ammettere che sono un po' geloso.” (Wow, Bella, so obedient. I never thought I would see the day that you let a man tell you what to do. I have to admit that I‘m a little jealous.) He reaches up to brush his fingers across my cheek before whispering, “Dove lo spitfire è che piacevo? Ci sono così molti usi migliori per quella bocca erotica di baciare quest'asino dello scatto.” (Where is the spitfire that I used to enjoy? There are so many better uses for that sexy mouth than to kiss this jerk's ass.) His hot breath fans across my face and I recoil, equal parts embarrassed and horrified that he would speak to me like that in front of my boyfriend. Where does he get off?
I make to stand up, wanting to get away from the whole situation, when I feel Edward’s strong hands pull me to stand behind him while leaning down to stand nose to nose with Mateo as Mateo stands up from the couch. Edward looks really fucking intimidating at the moment and it doesn’t help the situation that he is at least six inches taller than my childhood friend.
“Fare lei non fottendo mai il tocco o il discorso a lei che la maniera di nuovo se lei desidera trattenere l'uso delle sue mani maledette. Mi faccio chiarisce?” (Don't you ever fucking touch or talk to her that way again if you wish to retain usage of your fucking hands. Do I make myself clear?) Mateo shrinks away from Edward’s wrath, and as pissed off as I am that he is acting on his irrational jealousy, I have to admit that he looks sexy as hell. And hearing him speak Italian is making my girlie parts tingle. Fuck, I didn’t even know he spoke Italian. I rub my thighs together, momentarily distracted, before I command firmly. “Edward, I love you. But I need to speak to Mateo privately about his disrespectful behavior. Give me a moment. Please don’t make me ask you again.” I send him a sharp look and try my damnedest to keep the lust from shining through. He looks into my eyes for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh and reluctantly turning away from me.
When I turn back to Mateo I have every intention of telling him how upset I am, but ultimately forgiving him. However, when I catch a glimpse of a gold band around the third finger of his left hand, I can’t help my ire. “Che il fotte è ciò?” (What the fuck is that?) I shout, pointing at the offending piece of metal. How could he say such crass things to me when he has a goddamn wife at home? Or better yet, why did he act so fucking heartbroken when he found out that I had a boyfriend? He has a fucking wife! Bastard. The situation becomes painfully clear to me at this moment. He wanted to instigate a fight between Edward and I. What a prick.
“It’s a wedding ring, Bella…not like you care. Her name is Lenore. You know her, I introduced you to her the last time you were here.” His voice is soft, regretful even.
“Why would you act like that when you have a wife at home, Mateo? Do you even know how disrespectful that is to her. God!” I am so mad. This is not the boy I used to know.
Suddenly the light turns on in my head. I gasp at the realization of what he just said. Snapping my head to look him in the eye I ask, “Were you already with her the last time you were with me?” I can’t imagine being the other woman again.
His voice is barely a whisper when he finally answers, “Yes. I started dating her our sophomore year. I’m so sorry, Bella.”
I let his confession sink in before I press, “You cheated on her with me?” It is more a statement than a question.
“Yes.”
It feels like a knife to my heart because I trusted this guy. How can I ever look at Lenore again knowing that he did that?
“You really weren’t a virgin.” I hold my breath, cursing my naiveté.
“No.” Oddly the revelation doesn’t make me angry just sad. I hate knowing that I have been used and lied to again.
“I’m glad that you gave that to her…she deserves to have at least that part of you.” I tell him honestly, even though it sucks that he lied to me.
I smile in spite of everything. Edward might have an unflattering past, but he has always been nothing short of honest and upfront with me about it. I may have picked two losers to share myself with before him, but if that is the small price I had to pay to end up with such an amazing man, then I’d pay it again…gladly. I send Mateo a sad smile because despite how much he hurt me today, he did succeed in solidifying my respect for Edward and our relationship and making me realize that I am ready for a permanent commitment…even if Edward is currently in the doghouse.
I take a deep breath, steeling my resolve. Heading out the back door in the direction which Edward fled, determined to call him on the irrational jealousy he displayed earlier. That shit isn’t going to fly.
Edward is about to meet that spitfire tonight, I smirk to myself.
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