I'm sorry I'm bad I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds,
and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry
~Sorry: Buckcherry~
~Bella~
He left me. He fucking left. The reality of what I’ve done sets in and all I feel is heartbreak. Why didn’t I stop him? Why didn’t I tell him that I can’t imagine living without him? What if I’ve lost him? That final thought sends me into a fresh round of sobs. I have no one to blame but myself. Why was it so hard to believe two hours ago that it is the right thing for him to come to Seattle with me? Oh, God. What have I done? What if I sent him straight into the arms of another woman? That thought alone is enough to make my stomach lurch. What have I done…
Stupid little girl.
Alice comes in shortly after Edward flees and I am inconsolable. Of course she has to involve Jasper, but I can’t explain anything to either of them. How can I allow myself to be comforted when he’s out there doing God knows what, with God knows who, and it all falls back on me.
He sat there completely vulnerable, waiting for me to give him something, anything to hold on to and I stayed completely silent like a child. Hey Bella, your age is showing…
I try to get Alice and Jasper to understand that it was nothing Edward did and everything that I didn’t. I don’t want them to give him shit for something that he didn’t cause.
“It’s not his fault, Alice,” I state through my tears with a raspy voice. “I pushed him away with nothing…that’s what I gave him, nothing.”
I know now that I should’ve talked to him because I can tell how much he cares for me, but that insecure little girl inside of me was too afraid of rejection.
So I rejected him.
“He’ll be back honey, he probably just went out to clear his head. He knows he can get a temper. You guys need to talk when you’re both level headed,” Alice tried to comfort. She can say that all she wants, but she didn’t see his face the last time he looked back at me.
I look at the clock again. It’s three thirty-four. It’s been six and a half hours since he stormed out. Oh, Edward, where are you? Will you still be mine when you return? Clenching my eyes shut tightly, I swallow back the bile that is rising in my throat and brush my fingers across the diamonds in the bracelet proudly attached to my wrist. I have to hold out hope that he would never betray me that way…he promised. Yes, he promised before you broke his heart, bitch. No matter how hard I try, I cannot erase the look on his face when I basically told him that I wasn’t about to drop all of my responsibilities to follow him around. I might as well have said, You’re not worth it, you’re just a summer fling. God, could I be any more heartless.
He has asked me twice, point blank, about what I want to happen when the tour is finished. Both times he let me know that he can record from anywhere in the world and would be happy to explore the Olympic Peninsula, if returning to Seattle is what I want. The problem is not that I don’t want a future with Edward, or even that I think we are moving too fast…he makes me very happy. The problem is that Collin is in Seattle, and I’m not sure that I’m ready to just show up with a new boyfriend. I realize that I need to tell Edward all of this, and I’m sure Collin has seen my picture all over the tabloids, but it still makes me nervous.
I can’t even tell you why I care what Collin thinks, he certainly never cared what I thought, but I guess old habits die hard.
I met Collin at a carnival in Port Angeles, a town about fifty miles Northeast from the tiny town of Forks, where I lived with my father when I was eighteen and a senior at Forks High School. He was good looking, clean cut and very charming. We exchanged phone numbers after a hot make-out session and soon after we were exclusive…well, I was exclusive, he was not.
Collin was also a senior and attended The Northwest School, an exclusive private school in Seattle. I learned very quickly that his family was very wealthy and that they were a prominent fixture among Seattle‘s elite. It was hard for me to watch as he publicly dated society girls, while he kept me on the side as an acknowledged mistress. I know that I should have had more respect for myself, but he said he loved me and that he was going to marry me one day. I was stupid enough to believe him.
I tried so hard to mold myself into type of girls he dated publicly; I wore demure dresses and cardigans with pearls and diamond studs. I studied etiquette books and even learned to cook. None of that mattered in the end, though.
During the two and a half years I was with him, he called all the shots in our relationship, if you could even call it a relationship, especially in the bedroom. It was always the same. I would give him a blowjob then he would take me in the missionary position, pulling out right before his orgasm. He always took extra precaution with a condom and pulling out even though I was on the pill. He said it was because no form of birth control is foolproof, but thinking back, I believe that he worried that I might try to trap him. I would never do that, though, because I know what it feels like to grow up in a broken home. There was never any deviation from the routine and the one time I suggested he let me ride him he flipped out, saying he did not want to be with a girl who didn’t know her place. I never made another suggestion.
What hurts the most, is that after all of the changing I did, it still wasn’t enough. I compromised everything about myself and the one time I did something that was completely me…the spray of stars on my side…he dropped me like a hot potato. I argued that it would never be seen by anyone but him, and he stated that he was no longer interested in sticking his dick inside a low life, tattooed sexual deviant who was the spawn of a Podunk town‘s police chief. There was no question at the end of that conversation that I just didn’t ‘fit’ into his world.
He swept me off my feet, then dropped me on my ass.
I just wasn’t enough.
The worst part is that I know Edward is nothing like Collin, he wants me…the real Bella. He is the first guy to even know the real Bella, and he treats her like the queen of the fucking universe.
Like the most precious thing in his world…
Why am I questioning it?
At four-oh-six, I hear the front door open. I listen as his footsteps approach our door, hesitate for a moment and then retreat. Not able to stand one more minute of uncertainty, I try to calm my nerves and make my way down the hall. I need to make him understand that I do need him and that I want to be with him…always. I refuse to let my issues and insecurities be our demise. I finally reach the bedroom at the end of the hall, where I see the light under the door as it flicks off.
Opening the door as quietly as possible, I slip in and take a look around the small bedroom. I’m barely able to make out his form with the light filtering in through the window, but I can tell that he has stripped down to his boxer briefs and is laying on his side, facing away from the door. Creeping across the polished wood floor, I make my way to the bed where I crawl in, spooning him from behind while snaking my arm around his waist, holding him as tightly as possible.
He responds by covering my small hand with his much larger one and squeezing it while pressing it even tighter to his chest for a moment, then pushing it away roughly. I am shocked and really fucking hurt that he would outright reject my affection, but I guess I deserve it. It doesn’t, however, stop the sobs that erupt from my chest, wracking my small frame.
“Please, don’t push me away, Edward,” I sob, not even caring that my eyes are swollen and I have snot dripping from my nose. “God, please let me explain…please let me fix this…I never meant to hurt you,” I choke out between sobs. “I need you, I don’t want to live without you…” The last part comes out in a whisper as I finally put a voice to the words he needs to hear, “Please don’t leave me.” It’s ironic that I’m pleading with his words. The defeat is so clear in my voice as I begin to give in to the despair that is threatening to take over.
“What is there to explain? I thought we were permanent and you thought we were temporary. You’ve made yourself really quite clear. Enjoy the moment and all that,” he says in an eerily calm tone. It bothers me that he sounds so detached, but it devastates me that he wont even turn to look at my face.
“Please…” I breathe out in a last ditch effort to get him to listen to me.
He sighs deeply then rolls onto his back, threading his fingers behind his head while staring at the ceiling. “Well, lets hear it then,” he demands. I can see the tension in his jaw giving away that he is clenching his teeth.
Steeling my resolve to make him understand, I take a deep shaky breath, and begin to explain, “I’m attending Cornish College of the Arts on a presidential scholarship. One of the stipulations of the scholarship is that I have to complete the coursework in eight consecutive sessions as well as maintain at least a 3.5 GPA. If I fail to meet those requirements, I will lose my scholarship.” I pause to give both him and I a chance to take a breath. “I don’t need the money, as you know I have a best-selling publication, but I worked really hard and it is a huge honor to be awarded that scholarship…I don’t want to lose it, Edward.” I finish my explanation, waiting for some kind of reaction from him. I am well aware of the fact that I have conveniently left the part about Collin out. God, will I ever learn? After several minutes I prompt, “Edward?” I am practically crawling out of my skin with the silence.
He turns to look at me and I still see the anguish mixed with anger and disappointment shining through. “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m really impressed that you earned such a prestigious scholarship, really proud actually…but what I’m waiting for, is the part of the explanation that correlates this scholarship with why you stomped all over my fucking heart earlier,” he sneers, turning his focus back to the ceiling. “And don’t you dare fucking say, that you were unsure about whether or not I would go to Seattle with you because I have made my intention to follow you perfectly clear.”
I’m taken aback by the harshness in his tone, surely he understands how important this is to me? “I don’t understand…” I stammer out, the anxiety has nearly paralyzed me at this point. Am I that transparent? Can he sense that there is more to my reservations?
“Well, let me clarify it for you, then,” he spits out as he sits up resting his forearms on his knees while roughly tugging at is chaotic hair. “Does this scholarship have some sort of stipulation that states that your boyfriend can’t stay with you during your schooling? Or maybe it states that there can be no contact with him while you finish up? Or better yet, maybe, just fucking maybe, they will revoke it if you were to ask him to follow you? Is that it, Bella?” He is nearly shouting the words, but the unmistakable look of dejection colors his expression as he finishes his statement, “or is it that you just don’t want a future with me?”
“Oh, Edward,” I admonish, “of course I want a future with you…I want everything with you. ” I’m hoping that the conviction of my words is perfectly clear because I want to leave no doubt in his mind that there is nothing more I want, than to be with him. “I meant everything I’ve said to you…everything.” I want to make it clear that I meant those three words I uttered on the balcony earlier, even if there is a possibility that he won’t return the sentiment now. I may be confused about a lot of things regarding my relationship with Edward, but the fact that I do, in fact, love him is not one of them. Tears well up in my eyes at the thought that I have ruined this beyond repair, but when I look up at him, a small inkling of hope stirs inside me. The harshness has nearly faded from his eyes, but they still look guarded. I rush to finish my explanation in hopes of diminishing the hurt reflected back at me, “I’m sorry I brushed you off like I did, Edward, you didn’t deserve that. I can see now that by wanting to prolong the honeymoon phase of our relationship and avoiding the important issues I knew were lurking in the back of both of our minds, I just ended up hurting you. It scares me that I feel so much for you already and that I would be willing to do anything to keep you. But what scares me more is that you don’t feel the same. I can see now that what you feel for me runs deep, but you have to understand, I’ve never done this before so asking you to pick up your rockstar lifestyle and follow me to Seattle is really fucking scary. I never wanted you to doubt my feelings for you, but it seems that I have done just that.” I sigh, pulling my knees up to my chest and brush the tears from under my eyes before wrapping them tightly around my legs. Laying my cheek on my knees, I open my eyes to see his dark green ones gazing back at me.
He moves to lean against the headboard with his arms crossed tightly against his chest. The bright color of the koi fish on the outside of his bicep momentarily distracts me, before I whisper out the apology that I really should have started with, “I’m sorry I hurt you, ciccino, and I’m sorry I acted like a child by avoiding the important things, but please never think that I intended to just discard you, I really was hoping that we would be able to work something out…I was, I am willing to try. I would love for you to come out and spend as much time as possible with me in Seattle, I’m sorry that I made you feel differently.” At this point, I realize that I cannot put off telling him about Collin any longer, so with a deep shaky breath, I settle my nerves and tell him everything. I tell him how I allowed him to control me, how I completely changed myself for him, and how he treated me and then discarded me, like a whore. My heart suddenly feels heavy as intense anger clouds Edwards beautiful green eyes. I close my eyes, trying to blink back the tears threatening to spill over and wait for the words that will determine my fate.
“That motherfucking asshole will pay for how he treated you, Bella, if it‘s the last goddamn thing I accomplish,” he seethes through clenched teeth while his whole body vibrates with rage. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, then forces it out through his nose making his nostrils flare. He is pissed.
“I’m so incredibly sorry that he hurt you, Bella, but I’m not him.” His words are so simple, yet so profound and when he opens his eyes to look at me, they are filled with so much tenderness that it stuns me. I know in that moment that he would never just discard me the way Collin did, and suddenly I no longer care what he would think of me and Edward together.
“All you had to do was ask.” His voice is much softer, but he still sounds exasperated as he scrubs his hand through his hair and down across his face. He lets out a heavy sigh before continuing, “I’m sorry I was an asshole, but fuck, Bella, what was I supposed to think? I mean, I have been practically begging you to let me come with you. You are the best part of my life, and it hurts that you keep rejecting me.” He looks over at me and my heart clenches at the intensity of his gaze. “You were mean…and inconsiderate,” he looks down at his lap, but the defensiveness in his posture relaxes which only serves to accentuate the vulnerability in his expression.
“I know,” I whisper out, ashamed and finally understanding the extent to which I truly hurt him.
“Please don’t do it again, you know, dismiss my concerns. Just talk to me, baby, this will never work if we can’t talk about the important shit. I’ll always try my best to make you happy, and if you will be happy in Seattle, and you want me there, then I will do everything in my power to be there as much as possible.” His words are comforting, but he still looks unsure of himself. Just as I’m about to try and provide the comfort he has given me, he clears his throat awkwardly and continues, “I should never have left like I did. I let my temper get the best of me and it was rude and immature. You don’t deserve to be treated that way, especially by me…and I‘m sorry that I pressured you. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. I guess I fucked up.” He’s quiet for a moment more before he looks up at me with pleading eyes, “Forgive me?”
I can’t help but launch myself into his arms, flinging my arms around his neck and nearly knocking him off the bed as I rasp out, “Always. And yes I do want you there.” I’m straddling his lap and holding him in a vice grip as my shoulders shake with sobs of relief. I can feel him tighten his arms around my waist before he trails one of his hands up between my shoulder blades into my hair, tangling his long fingers into the strands as he croons in my ear, “Don’t cry, baby, I’m here, we’re together and the rest will work itself out.” His warm breath washes over the side of my face as he brushes his lips against my cheek before he presses them softly against my mouth. I clutch onto him desperately, clawing at his back and breathe against his lips, “Make love to me, Edward. I need to feel that you are still mine.”
His grip tightens in my hair as he pushes his tongue deep inside my mouth and sliding it along mine, causing the steel balls to clink together. I drag my hands down his sides feeling the slightly raised texture of his ink on his right ribs as I slide my fingers into the waistband of his briefs, pushing them down as my hands continue their descent. He pulls back to yank the shirt I’m wearing over my head and tosses it on the floor while simultaneously lifting his hips to help me remove his underwear.
When we are finally free from the constraints of our clothing, I line myself up with him and just as I’m about to lower my weight over his long, thick cock, he reaches up to cup my face tenderly in his hands looking intently into my eyes. “I love you too, my Bella, only ever you,” he declares, before pushing his hips up to meet mine. The emotion I see swimming in his eyes is consuming and I allow myself to drown in the dark emerald depths as I feel him fill me completely. I gasp with the weight of the moment, along with the feeling of being fully connected with him, and allow myself to bask in the feeling of knowing that he loves me too, even after I treated him so callously. I finally let the last of the walls around my heart down and I know that I will be forever altered.
I burrow my face deeper into his neck as I roll my hips, allowing the sensations to wash over me as I work diligently to bring us both to climax. I can feel his chest heaving against mine and the steel pierced into his nipples feels cool against my overheated flesh, causing goosebumps to erupt across my chest.
Soft sighs and low moans fill the air between Edward’s sweet words of encouragement as my body moves in perfect harmony with his strong, deep thrusts. He is holding on to me so tightly that it is almost painful, but at the same time it’s comforting to know that he feels the same desperation to claim as I do.
Edward’s sounds become louder and his movements become erratic as he nears his orgasm. I know he will fight it until I have reached mine. I am just about to slip my hand down between us when he stops me, growling out, “No,” before urging in a much softer tone, “come for me, baby, please…I can’t wait any longer, I need to see you come.” He accentuates his request by scraping his teeth along my earlobe and that, along with his soft words, is all it takes to send me into a quivering mess in his lap, with him immediately following, groaning out my name. “Oh, Edward,” I sigh, as I come down from my post-coital high while stroking the side of his face tenderly as he rests his head in the crook of my neck. His voice is barely a whisper as he presses a kiss to my pulse point, “I’ll always be yours, Bella.”
Scooting down so that we are laying in the bed, he arranges us so that I am curled protectively in his side as he strokes his fingertips up and down the length of my back. No more words are needed tonight, so with one more deep kiss, I allow sleep to wash over me, grateful we have made it through a tough altercation and knowing that we will be stronger because of it.
I wake to the smell of fresh coffee in the morning and trudge my way out to the kitchen, taking a seat at the breakfast bar. I smile appreciatively at Emmett who slides a steaming cup in front of me and I gulp it down greedily, cringing slightly as the hot liquid scalds my throat. As I set my cup down, however, all of the peace I have found during the night drains from me as I stare at a photograph of Edward getting awfully close to a beautiful blonde on the front page of the newspaper sitting on the counter. My hand flies over my mouth as a strangled cry escapes my lips as I fight back the bile that has risen to the back of my throat.
Emmett’s soothing voice pulls me from my panic attack, “Look at the picture, Bell, read the headline before you freak out.” His tone is firm as he pushes the paper closer to me. I flinch away from it like it’s going to bite me as I tentatively skim over the headline.
Hot rocker, Edward Cullen, publicly rebuffs world famous Victoria’s Secret Model, Kate Hargis
Furrowing my eyebrows, I shoot a questioning look up at a smirking Emmett, who is staring back at me knowingly. Sliding my eyes back to the photo, I look a little more closely and notice that not only is there a tense set to his jaw, but also, he appears to be annoyed. Guilt immediately floods over me as I look up meeting Emmett’s understanding gaze. I can’t help the tears that spring from my eyes as I clutch the paper tightly to my chest. He rejected a supermodel for me, and here I am automatically assuming the worst…God, I’m a shitty girlfriend.
Just as I think I cannot feel any worse, I feel the gentle buzzing pulse through my body as he slips his arms around my waist. His chest is pressed firmly against my back as he presses his lips against my neck quickly before whispering in my ear, “What’s wrong, baby?” It saddens me that I can hear a tinge of insecurity in his voice, knowing that I put it there. I shake my head, not wanting to tell him that instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt, I just assumed that he was guilty. “Please, Bella. Talk to me,” he urges with a gentle voice as he turns me in the chair so that he can step between my legs while tenderly cupping my face, brushing his thumbs across the flesh of my cheeks.
With a sigh and a heavy heart, I hand him the newspaper. His eyes widen as he catches a glimpse of the picture and he immediately starts explaining.
“Bella, I didn’t, I swear to fucking God, I didn‘t. I made a promise to you and I will never break that promise.” The alarm in his voice makes me feel even worse, so I cut him off before he can continue, “I know.” My voice is barely a whisper as I peek up at his handsome face. Confusion flashes across his features as he gazes back at me questioningly. When he looks back to the newspaper, he finally registers the headline and his eyes snap back to mine. His beautiful green eyes are laced with sadness as he speaks, “You thought…” I nod my head, looking down at my hands sitting in my lap. I am ashamed that I had so little faith in him, and it would serve me right for him to be mad.
“Oh, baby,” he says, exasperated, as he gathers me into his strong arms, pressing his face into my hair. “I’m so fucking sorry I left, that I made you question my commitment to you.” I feel him sigh into my hair as he mutters, “I’m such an asshole.”
All of this angst is making me crazy and I don’t think it is healthy for either of us to dwell on it. It’s over and done with and all I want is to put it behind us, so placing my hands on his chest while looking up at him from under my lashes, I ask sweetly, “Topolino, would you like to shower with me?” A slow sexy smirk creeps up on his gorgeous face as he wordlessly tosses me over his shoulder and saunters down the hall to our room, brushing past a surprised looking Jasper in the hallway.
“So I guess that little tiff is over and done with,” I hear him mutter under his breath as we get farther away and closer to our room.
When we finally emerge from the bathroom, we decide to spend the day at the beach. I grudgingly agree to invite the rest of the group along. I know I’m being selfish, but I really just want to spend the day figuratively, and literally, wrapped up in my man. After putting on a black terrycloth jumper over my black bikini and throwing my hair up in a messy bun, I walk into the living room to find everyone waiting. When my eyes land on Edward, however, I feel an overwhelming rush of lust as I take in the sight before me. He is dressed in Black and red Ed Hardy board shorts with a black wife beater and his aviator sunglasses. Damn, he looks hot lounging casually on the overstuffed chair. I strut over to him and thread my fingers into his hair, then yank it hard, tilting his head back while I invade his mouth with my tongue. I kiss him quickly and aggressively, biting his bottom lip as I pull back. I chuckle as I realize that he’s got a handful of my ass…this man always has a handful of my ass. He swats it hard, making me yelp, as he makes to stand up.
“Let’s go, baby.” His tone is light and playful as he slings his arm around my neck, and for the first time today, I know we are going to be alright.
When we get to the beach, we find a nice, somewhat secluded spot and lay out our blanket. The sun is shining brightly, warming my skin and the soft ocean breeze blows the fresh salty air around us as I discard my jumper, tossing it haphazardly across my tote.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Edward growls as he steps in front of me, blocking me from view.
Huh?
I look down to make sure that I indeed put both pieces of my suit on, then look back at Edward with one eyebrow raised, “A bikini…” I say the word like I’m speaking to a four year old, because at the moment that’s exactly what he’s acting like.
“Where the fuck is the rest of it?” he spits out, roughly grabbing the half of my ass that does not fit into the bottom of my suit. He certainly doesn’t sound like a four year old.
The teasing glint in his eye makes me giggle. I put on an exaggerated pout as I tease him back, “You don’t like it?” I make a slow circle in front of him, shooting a smirk over my shoulder as he licks his lips while openly ogling my goods.
He smirks right back at me as I complete the turn, pulling me flush against his body as his hands slide over my booty. I can feel his rock-hard cock against my stomach as he rubs himself against me. “Yeah, I fucking like it, but so does every other motherfucker here.”
“Maybe so,” I concede, looking up at him from under my lashes, before adding with a wink, “but you’re the only one who gets to touch it.”
This earns me an ‘inappropriate for public’ kiss, along with a hard slap on the bum and a ‘damn fucking right’.
I love that I can bring out the caveman in him, and believe me…I knew exactly what I was doing when I chose this particular suit today.
I slather my pale skin in sunscreen and slide on my favorite Gucci sunglasses, then lay back and watch my man play football with the boys. They have split up so that it is Emmett, Jared and Jasper on one team and Edward, Jacob and Embry on the other. After about thirty minutes, they are good and sweaty. Edward’s normally pale skin has darkened slightly to a nice light bronze that looks fucking hot with the color of his hair, which is currently wet and hanging in his eyes. I squirm in a little as he shoots a cocky grin in my direction. Jesus, he is one fine specimen.
Just as I am about to lose myself in thoughts of doing very naughty things to him, the boys are approached by a group of girls. There is five of them and they look to be in their early twenties. I watch closely, all while forcing myself to remain calm and collected, as the brunette of the group produces a marker and giggles as she yanks her bikini top down, nearly exposing her nipple. I fight my instinct to get up and stake my claim, but am mollified as he shakes his head, making her pout. He finally ends up signing her forearm, and turning away from her dismissively. The whole interaction makes me giddy and I laugh at the absurdity of how territorial I acted. I don’t really feel that bad about it though, because he does the same thing.
With a sigh of relief I allow myself to observe how the rest of the boys interact with the fan girls. I find that Jasper is aloof, much like Edward, but much nicer, and that Emmett is a gigantic flirt. How have I never noticed this before? In fact, he not only signed the redhead’s boob but the brunette’s ass cheek. I suddenly wonder if this is some kind of retaliation for how Rosalie lusts over Edward or if that’s just how he is. The thought unsettles me, I mean, I would be fucking pissed if Edward signed some chick’s tits much less if he blatantly flirted with her in front of me. I chance a peek over at her and to my surprise she looks hurt. There is a definite sadness in her eyes, along with…resolve?
What. The. Fuck?
I feel like I am in an alternate universe because all of a sudden I want to yell at Emmett, and ask him why the fuck he is flaunting this shit in front of his wife. When she notices me staring she just shakes her head, clearly stating that she doesn’t want to talk about it.
A few minutes later, however, she clears her throat and starts to speak, “It wasn’t me.”
Her words catch me off guard so the only reply I can come up with is, “What?”
“Your dress…it wasn’t me. I would never be that conniving or backstabbing. If I wanted to ruin your dress, I would have done it while you were wearing it…right in front of your face.”
I don’t respond because I really don’t know what to say to that. I do take the opportunity to really look at her, though. I hate to admit it but she really is pretty. She was probably smoking before she started with all the botox. Her boobs look too big for her body, though and it looks like she hasn’t eaten I weeks. She is wearing a teeny red bikini, almost as small as mine, but you can literally see her ribs and she has no ass…like, none. It’s sick.
She must take my silence as acceptance because she nods her head slightly then adjusts her gigantic sunglasses and turns her attention back to her magazine.
Alice chooses this moment to shove her magazine in my face, “Ohmigod! I haven’t even had a chance to look before now, Bella, you made the best dressed list!” She practically squeals with delight as she pokes her tiny finger on my picture. I have to admit, the outfit came together nicely. I let out a chuckle as I take in Alice’s appearance; she is wearing a yellow ruffled bikini, sunglasses that practically cover her entire face and a huge straw hat with a yellow sunflower on the brim. She is a doll.
“Yeah, you looked pretty hot, Swan.” Rosalie’s voice shocks the hell out of me, but I manage to mumble out a low thanks. I’m not quite ready to forget what a bitch she has been up to this point, and I’m certainly not naïve enough to think we are going to be braiding each other’s hair anytime soon, or well, ever, but I can play nice if she plays nice. Well, I can try, anyway…I make no promises.
I am totally lost in my thoughts when Edward tackles me, shaking his dripping hair and rubbing his wet body all over me, making me shriek. He is hovering over me on all fours and the playfulness in his eyes is contagious. Before I know it I’m laughing along with him as I fling my sunglasses on the sand above my head so that I can pull him down for a kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck and one of my legs around his thigh as he settles himself on top of me. Just as I moan, Alice jabs Edward in the ribs, muttering that we are in public and there are paparazzi present. I pout as he rolls off of me, requesting that I sit up crossed legged so that he can lay his head in my lap. When he finally gets comfortable, he grabs my hand plopping it on his head, which is his silent request for me to run my fingers through his hair, and I can’t help but smile. He is such a baby sometimes.
When I look down the beach, I notice Emmett flirting with yet another girl, blonde this time, and I make a mental note to ask Edward about this new development later.
**~**
When I emerge from the bathroom after my shower, I find Edward lounging across the bed toying with a wrapped package. A huge smile breaks out across my face, because lets face it, I love presents…what girl doesn’t?
I crawl toward him on the bed, trying to look as sexy as possible in only a white cotton camisole and cheeky boy shorts with cherries all over them. As I reach him, he arranges himself so that he is leaning against the headboard, making it too easy for me to straddle him, grinding my pussy against his hard on and making him groan. I flutter my eyelashes coyly as I point to the package that is now sitting next to him on the bed. “Is that for me, ciccino?”
“You, Miss Swan, are going to be the fucking death of me, I swear to God,” he grinds out, trying to still my hips, but really just holds me still so that he can thrust his cock up against me, making me moan wantonly. “And to answer your question, yes, it’s for you. Well, it’s for both of us,” he says between the licking and sucking he is currently providing on my throat. It feels so good that I almost want to forget about the package and continue to dry hump him like a fifteen year old, but being the selfish creature that I am, my curiosity gets the best of me and eventually, with a little effort, I pull back enough to reach over and grab it.
My breath hitches as I tear off the silver paper unveiling a pocket size, personal video recorder--complete with mini table tripod. A mischievous grin takes over my face as I tear open the package, handing the device to him. “Turn it on,” I urge, fishing the rest of the contents from the box. My heart is pounding in my chest and I can feel how wet my panties are at the mere thought of videotaping ourselves. This is going to be so fucking hot, my man is a freak…just like me.
He fiddles with the small black device for a minute before a triumphant grin spreads across his face. His eyes are sparkling as he sits back on his heels, pointing the camera at me. “Take your clothes off, baby,” he demands. His voice is low and firm and sexy as hell, making me whimper. I sit up on my knees and slowly peel my cami off, revealing my bare breasts. They feel heavy with want and I reach up to cup them after discarding my shirt on the floor. Looking straight into the camera with slightly parted lips, I tweak the barbells in my overly-sensitive nipples. The action makes me hiss and I instinctively close my eyes dropping my head back, pulling slightly on the cool metal.
Opening my eyes slowly, I slip one hand inside my panties, sliding my fingers through my wet folds and gently tugging at my clit-ring on the way back up as I continue to fondle my breast with the other hand. I can see the tip of Edward’s cock poking out of the top of his royal blue boxer briefs and it makes me moan reflexively. He lets out a sound that sounds kind of like a growl and he palms himself through the thin cotton.
“Take them off and open your legs, I need to see you,” he rasps out. I sit back and wiggle out of my panties, shooting them at him like a slingshot, earning a chuckle from him. “You think you’re cute don’t you?” I nod my head as I lay back opening my legs wide. “Do you like that, Topolino? Do you like seeing how wet you make me?” I ask, as I slide my fingers through the slick folds of my pussy, holding it open so he can see just how turned on I am.
“Fuck, baby…is that all for me?” he asks, pulling his cock from the confines of his underwear. I slip two fingers inside myself pumping in time with his strokes. “Who do you fucking belong to, Bella?“ His voice is low and dangerous, making a fresh wave of arousal gush out onto my hand. My mind is so clouded with lust for this man that all I can provide as an answer is a keening moan. This is obviously not acceptable because Edward bites out harshly, “Say it…out loud.“ The dominance in his voice is so fucking sexy that I come within minutes, calling his name, “You! Fuck, Edward, fuck! I belong to you, Oh God…come on me…come on my tits….please…mark me.” I feel the hot spurts of his jizz hit my skin as he comes with a guttural cry before chanting my name like a mantra, just as my orgasm is starting to subside.
He places an open palm on the bed next to my hip while the one holding the camera is limp at his side as he catches his breath. “That was fucking sexy,” he chokes out, between pants. When he finally gathers enough strength to move, he leans over the bed to retrieve the shirt I was wearing in order to clean me up before he screws the camera into the tripod and places it to face us on the night stand.
Pushing his underwear the rest of the way off with my toes, I pull him so that he is laying on top of me while I wrap my legs around his waist and push against him. Taking the hint, he lines himself up and plunges inside me with one deep thrust as he covers my mouth with his. Lifting his upper body off of me, he hooks his left arm under my right knee, allowing him to sink deeper. He takes me hard and fast as he sucks and bites at my skin. I’m clutching him so tightly that I know I am leaving nail marks but I can hardly find it in me to care. I can feel the coil building deep in my belly and I know I just need a little more.
As if sensing my thought, Edward opens his palm on my lower back, lifting it slightly. The small change in angle is enough for him to hit my sweet spot and four hard thrusts later I am seeing God. I swear I have never had such an intense orgasm, and I‘m sure we sound like a couple of wild animals with all the noises we are making. I don’t know if it is the addition of the video camera or what, but it is certainly the best one of my life. It is so good, in fact, that I don’t even feel the second one approach as it slams into me so intensely that it almost hurts…in a good way of course. I can’t even tell you if Edward finished or not, but I assume he did since he is a quivering, sweaty mess draped on top of me.
He looks up at me with those beautiful green eyes shining as I push his hair out of his face and the only thing he says to me before collapsing back into my arms is, “Holy fuck.”
I chuckle as I think, holy fuck, indeed.
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